Oh deary me. After going on a Duke of Edinburgh weekend away from home for 3 days I managed to gain 4 lbs from the sheer amount we were eating (cereal bars on the hour) even though we were walking eight hours a day. Which sucks. So I was 128.8 lbs on Monday. But somehow, the horrible evil annoying part of my brain got used to eating that amount and decided it wanted to continue to make me stuff my face like a pig. So I carried on eating. I didn't stop. And now, I've ballooned to 132 lbs.

This is horrible. It's just up and down all the time. Why is it that I strive for months to get to 124, and when I get there, i just undo all my hardwork over the course of one weekend? It's really upsetting.

I want to get to 107 by September. That's my new goal. Call it extreme, and extreme it may be, but that's what I want.

124.8 lbs.

I am back on track.

Oh my God. I haven't been on here in...... ages.

Lost half the extra weight. Down to around 129-130 lbs. Only 5 more pounds to go til i'm back on track, and then i will do the famous sacred heart diet once and for all.

I feel like dying. like i've let everybody down. it's awful.

133.2 lbs. 

I can't deal with this anymore.

So here's the story:

I gained about half a stone over xmas, and got fucking sick of myself. So i've been trying to do it healthily. That means 1500 calories (eurghh) and 30 mins exercise every day. It's hard, but I have to do it.

I've lost weight with the speed of a slug (ie. 4 lbs in 3 weeks) which I hate, but I think it's for the best. I'll keep on going until I'm back at 125 lbs, then I'll start restricting again and won't have such a yoyo effect. 

mehh i feel rubbish x

I'm going to do the Sacred Heart (general motors) diet for this week.

if i get down to 124 by next monday, i'll start ABC.

If not, I'll repeat it for a few more days until I do get to 124.

 Pre-holiday weight? 125 lbs.
Post-holiday weight? 130 lbs.
I FUCKING HATE CHRISTMAS.

New abc journal

0skinny0abc0

It is PAINFUL how much weight I have gained over Christmas.

Yesterday, I told myself: one more meal, and then it's all over.

It wasn't over. All that's happened today is I've had to sit and eat my sister's birthday cake, chocolate brownies and mince pies with relatives. I feel like my stomach is made of lead.

And tomorrow, we're going to Suffolk to stay with friends - and there's NOTHING to do there, except eat... and eat... and eat. Especially in the winter.

I was 129.4 lbs this morning. Disgusting. I am posting new stats.

Height: 5'8
CW: 129.4
HW: 142 (ish)
LW: 125.4

Now for goal weights.

GW1: 124 lbs
GW2: 119 lbs
GW3: 115
UGW: 110

So here is my plan.

I like plans. They keep things in order. Something to make me feel safe.

27-29th December - going to Suffolk w/ family and will probably gain EVEN more weight from ugly food.
30th December - 900 calories
31st December - 700 calories

THEN:

1st Jan - 200 cals - 130 lbs?
2nd Jan - 400 cals - 129
3rd Jan - 600 cals - 129
4th Jan - 800 cals - 128
5th Jan - 200 cals - 128
6th Jan - 400 cals - 127
7th Jan - 600 cals - 127
8th Jan - 800 cals - 127
9th Jan - 200 cals - 126
10th Jan - 400 cals - 126
11th Jan - 600 cals - 125
12th Jan - 800 cals - 125
13th Jan - 200 cals - 124
14th Jan - 400 cals - 124

And then i will start ABC, if I have done well.
If i have proved to myself i can restrict without fucking it all up.

Oh - and I've ballooned to 131 lbs - lovely.
I was 125 last week.

 does anyone have any experience (good or bad) with the 2468 diet? i'm actually starting to think about doing it instead of ABC for a while, maybe 2 weeks or so, as 'practise' before i launch into ABC. surely the 800 calorie day feels like a gain? and would it be more sensible to go 8642 instead? has anyone actually lost weight on it?

thanks xx

I need to prepare myself for the ABC. i need to prove to myself that i can keep things in control at 800 calories a day before i dip down to an average of 300. i am apprehensive. i know how much damage it will do to my healthy, strong body. but i don't care. i need this. i need THIN.

OK......

So i want to gather a bunch of people to start ABC with me on January 1st, 2009. I need all the motivation i can get, and i'm sure all you guys do too. So I'm proposing a 600-800 calorie restriction, each day until the beginning of the new year.

I'd love ABC buddies for support and stuff. I'm 5'8 and 126 lbs, goal weight 115 lbs... anyone with similar stats?

I'm going to do it this time. For real.

Much love xxx

LOWEST. WEIGHT. EVER.

I'm finally getting there...

My mum is getting worried though. She said to me today, 'If you keep this up you're going to get ill, I can tell you that much.'

:/

This morning i was 127.8. I don't believe the scales. I look in the mirror and still see fat. Everywhere. On my hips, my stomach, my thighs. I'm sick of this.

I am going to start ABC on January 1st 2009.

New year, new plan.

Until then... I just need to prove to myself that I can stick to 800 cals a day - even over Christmas. If I can't, then I won't start ABC. If I manage to get down to 122-ish by the new year, I will.

Sorted.

i'm being a post-whore.

But i have nothing else to do and i need to stop myself from eating......ruining my progress....

Bones. Think about bones. My favourite bones.

Cheekbones. Hipbones.

Mmm. <3

[x] i've lost weight
[x] i've gained weight
[x] my weight holds me back
[x] weight consumes me.
[x] i'm at my thinnest
[ ] i'm at my biggest
[x] i've lost weight and kept it off
[x] i've lost weight but gained it back
[x] my weight affects my mood
[x] i weigh myself daily
[x]i am jealous of everyone smaller than me
[x]i thrive on compliments
[x]i feel bigger than people who are my size
[x]i feel happy when i'm hungry
[x]i get depressed after i eat
[x]i've skipped a meal
[x]i've thrown food away
[x]i've spat food out
[x]i've fasted
[ ]i've taken diet pills
[ ]i've used laxatives
[ ]i've purged
[x]i exercise
[ ]i exercise so i can eat
[ ]i work out secretly
[ ]i work out daily
[x]i exercise to counteract eating
[]i've fainted from exhaustion
I TAKE:
[ ] weed
[ ] cigarettes
[ ] alcohol
[ ] diet pills
[ ] pain killers
[ ] anti-depressants
[ ] ecstasy
[ ] LSD
[ ] mushrooms
[ ] speed
[ ] cocaine
[ ] other
[ ]i keep my eating habits a secret
[x]i have an ED blog
[x]i look at thinspo
[x]i collect thinspo
[x]i count calories
[ ]i've had negative intake days
[x]i avoid food
[x]i hate food
[x]i love food
[x]i want to be this way
[x]i don't want to be like this
[x]i wish i could have more control
[x]being thin is my top priority
[x]i don't want to get better
[ ]i am in treatment
[x]i'm doing this for me
[x]i'm doing this for someone
[x]i'm doing this to prove myself

I was 128.4 lbs this morning.

Thinnest I've been for nearly two years.

Funny, I still feel like a fatty.